Flowers

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Early in the day, I was discussing giving the gift of flowers. The person I was speaking with told me that they didn’t really get the point of giving someone flowers, because they die.

That evening, I was retrieving something out of my car as a young acquaintance approached me, 7 year old Madison. She caught my attention and smiled at me as she presented me with a bouquet of bright yellow wild flowers. It made me feel more than special.

As I found a place for them, I thought back to the conversation about the point of gifting someone flowers and then I realized; it’s not about the gift, it’s about the gesture.

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Grand Scheme

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I want a townhouse apartment somewhere quiet. A townhouse apartment with a street view of a nicely paved road, shaded by trees. A home that is illuminated because of it’s big windows, letting the light beam in every morning. I want a kitchen with white walls and a hallway with a wooden floor and a living room that always smells of vanilla candles.

I want to wake up fifteen minutes before I get ready for work, only to proudly make someone else’s coffee. I’ll wait for that person to join me in the kitchen, telling me I’m beautiful.

I want to live out my day with energy, feeling like I radiate everything around me, even the darkness.

I’ll come home to dinner prepared with two glasses of wine and finish the night off with a corny movie, snuggled up on the couch.

I want to wake up and go to sleep happy, knowing that I am loved.

Fantasy

I looked her in the eyes and told her I love her
Because I never want to let us go
I will not let this cumble
I will not let us die
I looked her in the eyes and told her I love her
Because in that moment
She needed to know

Lame

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I wrote this poem
But it’s pretty lame
It’s about my trouble of taking all of the blame
For things that are beyond my control
And for people who don’t deserve it at all

It’s about my self doubt
It’s about all of my love
All of my love for earth and it’s people
And leaving no love for myself

I don’t know why
But I wrote this poem
It’s about my second guessing
Because maybe it’s not so lame
But either way
The thoughts of its truth
They bring me great pain