I started this blog as a tool to dialog my inner thoughts, feelings, self analyzations and conquering self doubt. Financially and mentally, I wasn’t doing too well a couple of months ago.
I can’t really tell you how the self doubt thing is going but I can say that I’m proud of myself. I have two jobs, one being full time and incredibly stressful. But, I’m making money and my mind is occupied.
Though, my current headspace isn’t well; in a different way. I’m not sure where I got lost along the way, but I feel emotionally out of touch with myself and as if I don’t know what’s happened in the past six months because I’ve been so busy worrying about my physical life and working on fixing it, which I’ve mostly achieved. I also feel like I haven’t been creative enough. When I’m by myself, things just feel…bland. The line between living freely and living “responsibly” is starting to blur because, I don’t know which one makes me more happy. All I want is to be happy. If I can’t tell if I’m happy or not, what am I? Where do I go from here, because I know that I can’t keep ignoring it.