Do you ever feel like you are suffocating?
Do you ever misconstrue an overwhelming feeling?
I do. I feel like I am suffocating. I have spent hours pondering the source.
Happiness is suffocating me, I am completely engulfed. I could not ask for more.
Happiness is suffocating me, because I am using it to repress the familiar racing heart-beat. In this moment, I am fighting thoughts and anxieties that are not true.
Without this happiness, I am positive I would not be able to fight this war. If I did not have the time to collect myself quickly to resume battle, I would not be here.
But, I am beginning to wonder if I am being too optimistic. I am wondering if I am supposed to allow myself to feel these things, even if they are untrue. Is there only choosing one or the other, or is there a gray line in-between?
I was fine, I am fine. Though I am suffocating, too.